Tag Archives: WTF

OMG….its time to name and shame, the driver of OUF 213

.

Dear Rouleurs,

My morning commute to work traverses some very busy roads around Docklands, South Melbourne and Port Melbourne area.  I’m pretty damn careful.  However the one place that I’m utterly paranoid is the pedestrian crossing on Williamstown Road in Port Melbourne.  The red star marks the spot.

Yes the driver of a white ute, registration OUF213 tried to kill me here today.

Yes, the driver of a white ute, registration OUF213 tried to kill me here today.

Once again that paranoia acted as a survival instinct, as the driver of a white f#@king ute, Victorian registration, OUF 213, drove straight through the crossing, despite that the fact that the car travelling in the opposite direction had stopped. This flagrant breach of the law occurred at approximately 9.00 am.  The ute looked like a late model Ford and it’s load was tied down with a tarpaulin.  The driver looked to be in his fourties, wore glasses and had blonde hair.

If by some co-incidence, you come across this driver, feel free to punch him in the head and then direct him to this blog.  May be that will get his attention.  God knows being dressed in bright orange and seated on bike with no less than 4 bright flashing lights, didn’t.  Seriously, driver a pox on you and your house for some truly idiotic driving.

Until next time, ride safe

Marv

Dear God…its been weeks……..

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has been suffering new untold levels of sleep deprivation partly to due SBSs excellent Tour de France coverage and the arrival the most recent addition to Team MMT. Born June 11, 2.38pm at 3.25kg, we look forward to when young AJ is able ride her first bike. Both Mum and bub are doing really well.

Hence no blogs….however today is the first time MMT has had to write something, albeit brief. Way back on 8th July 2016…it seems so long ago…The Age published a really wonderful article about how utterly traffic clogged inner Melbourne roads are becoming.  This infographic caught my eye.

Ha...proof that bikes are faster than cars in Melbourne.

Ha…proof that bikes are faster than cars in Melbourne.

Contrary to what the wag of journalist concluded, if you need to get somewhere in hurry in peak hour traffic, RIDE A BIKE.

Cycle Path Etiquette, Road Rage and Bogans in Utes

.

Dear Rouleurs,

I’m a bit fired up at the moment. Let me explain.  Last Sunday evening I’m out for an early evening ride.  The weather was atrocious in the morning and sleeping in with my 7 month pregnant wife seemed like a much better idea.  Usually I ride in early in the morning, in the hope of missing traffic and pedestrians who like to use traffic lights.  I’ll have to write about that pet peeve in different blog.

Sunday is different, the weather is still and humid, actually quite good conditions ignoring the surface water still on the road.  I zip out about 4.30pm-ish.  I’ve had one too many caffeinated drinks and I can feel a headache coming on.  I won’t sleep unless I metabolize the caffeine.  So I do short ride down to the Brighton Seabaths.  There’s a bit more traffic round than I would like but I’m careful.

I’m almost home when I have to start slowing down.  The segment of the bike path that starts opposite The Pier Hotel and ends near the Beacon Cove tram stop is always populated by less than attentive pedestrians who just wander aimlessly oblivious to the speeding cyclists who should have right of way on a dedicated path. This evening is no different.

A family of 2 adults and 2 little kids are about to cross the path.  They haven’t seen me.  I don’t know why, I have 2 Moon 300 lumen flashing lights on my bike.  I slow right down.  They eventually notice me, stop and let me through on the path.  Sadly this kind of courtesy on the path is not the norm. I say ‘thanks’ to guy and I receive a friendly nod in return.

About 30 seconds later I experience the more common treatment that cyclists receive.  I’m moving on the road and trying to get around this enormous oil truck queuing for the Spirit of Tasmania.  I then hear ‘Mate, get off the f%#king middle of road’.  I move round the truck, head towards the pedestrian crossing.  I turn around and see a blue Ford ute with a dog house and mattress strapped down on the back.  Another stream of abuse comes from the ute.

I’ve red misted and flipped these bogans the bird.  Unsurprisingly its returned, by male bogan passenger, presumably the original loudmouth and a bottle blonde female bogan. I’m seriously tempted to follow them and give them a real blast. Then the red mist clears and I realise that I’m better than that. I ride home wanting to punch someone or something.

A few days later, I’m still pretty angry, hence this blog.  That was just plain unnecessary considering its a 20 Km/h zone and all these idiots were doing was queuing to get on the Spirit of Tasmania.   Which brings me to my therapy.  To the loud mouth dickhead in the ute – ‘Mate, was dog house for you or the blonde rottweiler driving the ute?’

Given that the Giro is on and that there is no chance that you understand Italian ‘Vaffanculo!!!’ with appropriate hand gesture.

Until next time, ride safe and avoid ute-driving bogans

Marv

Ruining my visit to Clovelly Beach

Dear Rouleurs,

As almost none of my readership will know, I lived in the Eastern suburbs of Sydney for about 8 years.  One of the places I loved to hang out was Clovelly Beach, a secluded man made beach tucked away in between Bronte and Gordon’s Bay.  Last Sunday I visited the beach with the better half of Team MMT.  Sunday mornings at Clovelly are particularly special as the local surf club run their junior lifesavers program, aka nippers.  The beach and inlet are overrun by kiddies 7 years and older swimming, paddle boarding and beach running.  Its a pretty amazing sight and one that I’ve greatly enjoyed over the years.

God lives here according to Reg Mombassa.

God lives here according to Reg Mombassa.

However, MMT was greatly annoyed by overhearing two older English couples complaining about cyclists riding on the Pacific Highway in Northern Sydney.  The complaints included: slowing traffic down, being overly aggressive whilst ridding in a pack (its called a peloton dearie…sigh) and apparently causing them fright when they nearly ran one over.  WTF…..

Stupidity of this kind really should be rewarded with a Darwin Award.  First, as you visitors to our country, do us a favour, leave your money and GO HOME.  Second, the road is there for everyone to share and unlike you, those cyclists who pay taxes and have every right to use the road.  Finally, if you were frightened by nearly running over a cyclist, how to you think that person felt.  Possibly its time turn in your drivers license and pick up a mobility scooter.  These people really did live up to the often described stereotype…whinging poms.  Fortunately, they didn’t stick around for long, perhaps they were confused by sunny, warm conditions and the absence of rocks on the beach.

Until next time, ride safe.

Marv