Monthly Archives: August 2016

OMG….its time to name and shame, the driver of OUF 213


Dear Rouleurs,

My morning commute to work traverses some very busy roads around Docklands, South Melbourne and Port Melbourne area.  I’m pretty damn careful.  However the one place that I’m utterly paranoid is the pedestrian crossing on Williamstown Road in Port Melbourne.  The red star marks the spot.

Yes the driver of a white ute, registration OUF213 tried to kill me here today.

Yes, the driver of a white ute, registration OUF213 tried to kill me here today.

Once again that paranoia acted as a survival instinct, as the driver of a white f#@king ute, Victorian registration, OUF 213, drove straight through the crossing, despite that the fact that the car travelling in the opposite direction had stopped. This flagrant breach of the law occurred at approximately 9.00 am.  The ute looked like a late model Ford and it’s load was tied down with a tarpaulin.  The driver looked to be in his fourties, wore glasses and had blonde hair.

If by some co-incidence, you come across this driver, feel free to punch him in the head and then direct him to this blog.  May be that will get his attention.  God knows being dressed in bright orange and seated on bike with no less than 4 bright flashing lights, didn’t.  Seriously, driver a pox on you and your house for some truly idiotic driving.

Until next time, ride safe


Marv’s bogan ute revenge fantasy


Dear Rouleurs,

Over the last couple of months I’ve been harbouring feelings of ill will towards tradies.  Presumably, they are all male, driving at breakneck speeds early in the morning in utes, vans and 4WDs along my local ride, early in the morning.  Whilst MMT realises that every working ‘person’…(let’s see if I’ve hit the right tone of political correctness ;-)…has an obligation to arrive at work on time, he wonders whether it is necessary to speed at 20 or 30 km/h above the speed limit to get there.  As there is  no police presence  at that time of the morning they get away with it, almost every single time.

So I’ve been harbouring feelings of ill which had started to develop into a full blown revenge fantasy.  It involves a bit of tweaking to a scene from ‘Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’.  The scene involves the aging, wheelchair-bound Patches, who volunteers to coach the Average Joes dodgeball team.  Patches’ training regimen includes throwing wrenches at the team members (“If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!”).

I imagine riding along, pulling a wrench out of my jersey pocket and throwing through the back window of a ute that has just illegally sped by.  The wrench shatters the back window and hits the bogan dickhead in the back of the head with a satisfying ‘thwok’.  Yes its a bit juvenile and cartoon-ish in a Super Mario way, but goddamnit it brings an evil smile to my face every time.

Revenge fantasies never come true, which is probably best for the continued existence of our society.  In reality, the chances of MMT throwing a spanner that accurately at a speeding ute is pretty much zero.  Its much more likely MMT would overbalance and donate a lot of skin and possibly bone to the ashpalt.   Then one day coming back from Truman on a coffee run, I saw this and laughed my ass off.

Somewhere near Albert Park a dickhead bogan is crying in his beer over his wheel clamped ute :-)

Somewhere near Albert Park a dickhead bogan is crying in his beer over his wheel clamped ute 🙂

This is poetry and karma  sweetly connected in the form of a wheel clamp.  I would have loved to have seen the face of the dickhead bogan ute owner, just after he discovered this.  Just to be clear the Sherrif’s Department has the right to do this, under the Infringements Act 2006, when a vehicle owner has an outstanding infringement warrant…possibly for something like not paying speeding fines 😉

So here’s to karma, ride safe in the knowledge that there is one less dickhead on the road.


Product Review: 2XU Ignition Top & Proviz Reflect360 Gillet


Dear Rouleurs,

MMT realised that the MarvMadeThis blog passed its second birthday.  Wow, who would have thought that something that started as a means to break up the monotony of work, would last this long.  I guess its fair representation of how much cycling has taken over MMT’s life.  Given the that the world wide web is littered with dead websites and blogs, its remarkable that MMT has survived this long.  Anyhow…enough ego stoking on with this blog entry.

MMT is back doing longer commutes.  Melbourne’s winter weather seems to have started its gradual move towards less windy and warmer days.  The days are noticeably longer with sunrise and sunset bookending increasing periods of daylight.  This has meant some reconsideration of suitable commuter gear.  The two pieces of kit that I have consistently used over the last 12 months have been 2XU’s long sleeve Ignition ¼  Zip Top in bright orange and Proviz’s cycling gillet.

 2XU Ignition Top

20160823-2XU-Ignition-Top MMT gives the 2XU Ignition Top 4 ½ Marvs 🙂 out of 5.  Its a very comfortable high visibility top if you can find the original orange version.

I bought my bright orange version mine from an outlet shop on Southbank about 18 months ago.  So readers you can treat this as a long term review.  I bought the top going into winter 2015, as I realised that I needed something warm and bright for my daily commute.  Most of the high visibility gear I owned left me shivering in the morning leg.  Happily this top fit my requirements by being relatively thick enough to keep out the wind and bright enough to really stand out in traffic.The Ignition top has a good quality ¼ zip, some reflective trim and thumb holes in the sleeves to enable them to be hitched over my riding gloves.

Unlike most of 2XU’s gear which is designed for ridiculously skinny tri-athletes, this top was a regular fit.  I purchased the XL version and it fits comfortably and is stretchy enough to fit over other undershirts.  At $65 dollars, heavily reduced, I suspect, it was fantastic value. The good news is that it’s been cold-washed repeatedly and not lost its brightness.  The bad news is that I suspect that 2XU don’t make/stock them anymore.  The closest match I can find is this in the outlet section of 2XU’s website.

 Proviz Reflect360 Gillet20160823-Proviz-Relect360-Gillet

MMT gives the Proviz Reflect360 5 Marvs 🙂 out of 5 – its an outstanding piece of commuter kit.

The other piece of kit I’ve made extensive use of when commuting and for the occasional early morning ride has been Proviz’s ultra-reflective gillet.  I bought mine about 12 months ago in Clarence Street Cyclery for $90.  They are more expensive now but is worth the increased price.  It wasn’t until a few months ago when I started noticing other riders with Proviz gear on that I realised how effective the clothing is at reflecting light.  Riders wearing this kit are literally a bright shining light when ever car or truck lights are directed at them.  My initial reaction was ‘whoa…that’s bright’.  The Youtube adverts don’t the reflective properties, of the clothing, justice.

However, its not like other gillets.  It isn’t cut as a ‘racing fit’ and it doesn’t have pockets.  The reflective fabric is very weather proof, able to keep out all but the heaviest downpour.  But the waterproofing comes at a cost, it’s not particularly breathable.  It has a ‘mesh’ of small holes cut through on the fabric on the lower back to encourage air flow.    As an aside MMT has been too scared to put the gillet in the washing machine and preferred to give the top a quick rinse under basin taps.

Final commentary, Proviz have released a couple of new variations on this top that, I suspect, address the feedback back about the original gillet that MMT has. These a dedicated cycling gillet, presumably with a tighter fit and the new 360+ which has a improved fabric.

Until next blog, ride safe


Chapeau Spartacus!!!


Dear Rouleurs,

I’ve been mesmerised by boring TV and Australia’s lack of cycling success at the Rio Olympics. Mind you the Brits came to play on the track and have shown both the Men’s and Women’s teams a thing or two. Alas Australian cycling fared no better in the either Men’s and Women’s road races or time trials. Rohan Dennis had the misfortune of his handle bars breaking in the time trial event and Richie Porte was lucky to be able to walk after his horrible down hill crash in the Men’s road race.

However, the rider that did stand up,  was Swizterland’s Fabian Cancellara, aka Spartacus.  Cancellara dominated the Men’s time tria,l for his second Olympic gold medal, on the wet roads of Rio de Janiero with a time of 1:12:15.42. Spartacus won his first gold medal back in 2008 at the Bejing Games. In his final year of competitive racing, the 35 year old turned back the clock and relegated red hot favourite the Netherland’s Tom Dumoulin (47 seconds behind) and this year’s Tour de France winner, Chris Froome (1:02 back) back into silver and bronze respectively.

left to right - Dumoulin, Cancellara and Froome, Men's Time Trial Rio 2016.

left to right – Dumoulin, Cancellara and Froome, Men’s Time Trial Rio 2016.

Spartacus looking the goods on a very sexy looking Trek TT bike.

Spartacus looking the goods on a very sexy looking Trek TT bike.

So to celebrate Spartacus’s big win, MMT is re-publishing (or more commonly known as stealing) an infographic, from a magazine called Titanien.  The beauty of this infographic, give the man’s success on cobbles in and around Belgium, its written in Flemish, which means MMT has absolutely no idea what it says, although an educated guess is ‘Fabian in Numbers’.


So until next time, ride safe.