Category Archives: Humour

The end of the Magic Spanner??

Dear Roulers,

I was reading a recent article in Cycle Sport July 2015 edition, talking about the end of the ‘magic spanner’. Apart from terse warnings from the UCI Commissaries, the article was a showcase for a number of nostalgic photos demonstrating the bravery of team bicycle mechanics.  Leaning out of vehicle traveling at 40 to 50 Km/h looks like an easy way to end up in hospital.   Unfortunately there is no easy way of directing you to the article, as far as I can tell, there is no online copy…boo 🙁

For those of you that have no idea what the magic spanner or its close relative the ‘sticky bidon’ are, its occurs when a rider drops out of the peloton, on the pretence of requiring an adjustment to brakes, cleats, cables, whatever, and catches a presumably well earned rest hanging on the team car.  Here’s an example of an intrepid FDJ mechanic braving life and limb. Impressive core strength, young man.

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Its close cousin is where a rider seems take a very long time to secure their grip on a bidon ie 1 or 2 minutes, before taking a drink.

Neither of these ‘tactics’ should be confused with hanging on to a motorbike…

20150626-Justplaincheating

….which is just plain cheating.

Nor is Richie Porte’s ‘wheelgate’ fiasco, which basically cost him any chance of maglia rosa in 2015.

So, naughty, naughty, very naughty, which is no doubt why the UCI issued a reminder just before the 2015 Paris-Nice race and fined a couple of team  a 1000 Swiss Francs. The article’s author seems to make great sport of team Sky who have a number of photos included in the article.  Oh well…….

As the sole rider on Team Marv I have to say that I want one of these magic spanners.  I’ve had 3 punctures in 6 weeks and having a Team Marv support vehicle would be just awesome. My personal pick would be the Team Sky jag that’s been going around in the ‘hot lap’ that’s been going round on SBS’s Bike Lane.

20150626-TeamSkyJaguar

I’ll be passing the hat round shortly. Don’t be shy, chip in 🙂

Until then ride safely

Marv

What the heck does Isotonic mean anyway??

 

Dear Roulers,

On my recent Easter holiday I was laid low by a very nasty stomach bug. I’ll spare you the details, but it pretty much ruined my first trip to Kuala Lumpur. I didn’t eat any of the very nice chocolate my wife had bought until I came to Australia. I digress, back to the point of this blog, in the middle of a very average night I’m really dehydrated, I reach into the hotel minibar and find this weird drink called 100Plus.

I’m desperate, so I sip the drink slowly over the course of a few hours. It tastes bland and most importantly stays in my stomach. I look at the can and there’s some blurb about the drink being Isotonic. At the time I wondered what that meant and thought nothing of it.

About month later I’ve run out of Staminade. I’ve been buying the stuff for years as a means of having non-vile tasting liquid to drink whilst cycling.

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At this point I’m putting in a shameless plug for Staminade being made here in Australia…how rare these days…and raise a 2 finger salute to another couple of US drinks ending ‘ade’.  I buy another container at local supermarket and I notice that word again ‘isotonic’….hmmm some little gears whirl around in my head….ah ha I’ve made a connection back to that awful night in KL. So what the heck is isotonic? And why is it important.

Enter the science of the sports drink as provided by Google….
The basic theory goes like this. Being hot and dehydrated is bad. I’ll dispense with the explanation. It should be self-explanatory.  Plain water will keep you hydrated not fuel your muscles. Research has shown that body will perform better if your drink contains some carbohydrate. But it mustn’t be too much, fruit juices and sugary fizzy drinks can dehydrate as the body uses available water to dilute them and enable the carbs to be absorbed.

So much to my surprise sports drink can belong to one of three categories: Isotonic, Hypotonic and Hypertonic. Essentially these words describe how rapidly the fluid and carbs are absorbed through the stomach.

Type of Drink Description
Isotonic Drink These drinks are said to be in balance with the body’s fluid levels and empty easily from the stomach into the bloodstream. They contain somewhere in between 5 to 8 grams of carbs per 100ml. Some have sodium to assist absorption. They can be consumed at anytime while cycling.
Hypotonic Drink These drinks are absorbed by the stomach faster than Isotonic ones, but this is achieved by having low levels of carbs. They are very useful for hot conditions, where you are working up a sweat. However as a long distance cyclist you must eat something as well to keep your energy levels up.
Hypertonic Drink These drinks are the slowest to be absorbed by the stomach. They have upwards of 10 grams of carbs per 100ml. They provide plenty of energy, but can hinder hydration, as discussed earlier. They are best consumed after cycling, possibly when you are too tied to eat food.

A word of caution…drinking strong hypertonic fluids can reverse the normal process of osmosis and cause diarrhoea. Think Greg LeMond, Tour de France circa 1986. Which brings me full circle to KL and the 100plus drink in the minibar. Ta da 🙂

Until next time

Marv

Caffeine assisted cycling

banner_coffee

Dear Roulers,
I can’t imagine going for a ride without having a good coffee before and after the event. I would class myself as a functional addict, although my wife may dispute the “functional” part of that description.  Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant of the methylxanthine class of psychoactive drugs. It is the world’s most widely consumed psychoactive drug and unlike most other psychoactive drugs, it is completely legal.  The actual caffeine molecule looks the picture below.

caffeine molecule

Regardless, it’s the magical properties of caffeine, to ward off tiredness, that makes it the average office workers and cyclist’s best friend. It’s also been proven assist fat oxidation and reduce glycogen depletion. Both of which are very useful for the long distance cyclist.

The downside is that it is a diuretic and can cause dehydration. For that reason, it’s been treated suspiciously by anti-doping authorities who regard it as a masking agent for other performance enhancing drugs. Too much of the stuff results in overstimulation with anxiety and rapid heart heat. So it’s worth not overdoing it. While the UCI don’t ban the drug, the IOC still do.

I can remember Alex Watson, the Australian pentathlete, who found himself turfed out the Seoul Olympics in 1988 for imbibing way too much of the stuff and the tough battle he had to clear his name.  At present the UCI allows up to 12 micro grams of caffeine in a litre of urine. WADA has been lobbying UCI to ban caffeine, which no doubt irritate many cyclists. To get above that level, you would need to have about 6 cups of instant coffee or 10 expressos to hit that level.

So for those of you that are serious competitive cyclists, keeping an eye on your intake is a sensible approach, lest sharing the same fate at Alex Watson. Here’s a list of drinks that contains caffeine that a cyclist should be aware of:

Source Milligrams per a cup
Ground Coffee    80 – 90
Instant Coffee    60
Decaffeinated Coffee      3
Tea    40
Can of Cola    40
Caffeine Pills    100 to 200

I haven’t bothered with the energy drinks that may or may not give you wings, as I don’t consider those to be drinkable 😉

Happy coffee drinking and cycling

Marv

20 Reasons to Love the Giro’Italia – Thanks Mr Walker

Dear Roulers,

In lieu of writing a proper blog this week, I thought I would share this infographic that appeared on the Peloton Magazine Twitter stream a few hours ago.  You can find it here: https://twitter.com/pelotonmagazine

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However, this seems to be a case of ‘light-fingered-ness’ on someone’s part, as the original can be found here http://www.cyclingcartoons.com/ is originally drawn by Dave Walker.  Credit should be given were credit is due.  This has now become my new favourite cycling website 🙂

Caio for now

Marv