Category Archives: Fashion

Every cyclists wants to be fashionable :-)

To Lycra or not to lycra…apologies to Shakespeare

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Dear Roulers,

Way back in 2015, I stumbled across a series of cartoons by a very funny cyclist called Dave Walker here’s the link.  Mr Walker has been very busy and published a book of his work.  As means of avoiding a law suit for plagiarism, this blog entry is a shameless plug for his book. Now depending on how ‘old school’ you are, you can either walk into your nearest bookstore and take pot luck or find it on Amazon.

Now the reason for the plug. I was walking down the stairs to my employer’s locker room, when I passed a fellow MAMIL going out for a run.  No big deal, except for the really suspect choice of tight lycra shorts and top.  Most runners I know tend to go for the light weight short and tank top combination.  The choice of clothing was not helped by the MAMIL’s middle age spread, which MMT can happily report was significantly worse than his own.

Strictly speaking, MMT is throwing stones inside the glass house here and MMT is not wishing this runner into an early grave either.  This MAMIL should be wholeheartedly applauded for his endeavours.  Nevertheless, it wasn’t a great look.  Possibly a Rocky style tracksuit may have been more flattering.  However, it was this chance encounter that made me think of Mr Walker’s take on the inappropriate wearing of lyrca.

MMT says ‘chapeau’ Mr Walker.  MMT adds that lyrca should never worn on public transport, unless its accompanied by a bicycle.  Similarly, any male tendency to ‘spreading’ should be resisted.

Until next time, ride safe,

Marv

Bollards to that…apologies to Attilla the Stockbroker

Dear Rouleurs,

I just had to post this one.  Post – that luntatic ice addict driving his car down Bourke St Mall and all the terrible, terrible acts of religious fanatics in London, Melbourne has received its own fleet of hideous concrete bollards.  They are scattered all over the CBD. Whilst these things seem to be unfortunately necessary, they are unspeakably ugly.  The picture below is sufficient proof of that.

A row of concrete eyesores near Fed Square.

So much to MMT’s surprise, an interesting article, documenting a wonderful public spirited response to these eyesores, appeared in the Age a few days ago.  I assume for reasons of cost cutting, after all its Fairfax print, the online version appeared only in the Sydney Morning Herald…WTF.

I’m surprised that anyone in the emerald city of Sydney would give 2 proverbial Shi#ts about these things in Melbourne???’

Another row of concrete eyesores near Southern Cross Station. One of them is just a little prettier, thanks to David Gray, the infamous Bollard Bandit.

Nevertheless, MMT feels compelled offer a polite and heartfelt ‘chapeau’ to Melbourne’s very own Bollard Bandit, David Gray for improving the city scape of Melbourne just a little bit.

Chapeau Monsieur Gray 🙂

Until next time, ride safe, avoiding bollards,

Marv

Can a bike really be worth $AUD 51,000….WTF?

Dear Rouleurs,

A friend of MMT’s wife sent through an MMS with a link to what could be the most outrageously expensive flatbar, carbon fibre, single speed bike of all time.  Apparently, its for the man  who has everything.  Supercar giant Bugatti has created what is possibly the world’s lightest, most expensive bicycle.  MMT will ignore the inherent sexism of the original article, although its quite possible that only someone loaded with cash and testosterone would buy this.  However it is quite striking in design.

MMT was particularly taken with the black and yellow colour scheme.  As its early in the 2017 AFL season, MMT still clings to the delusion shared by 70,000 members of the Richmond Football Club, that this year is the year.  MMT wrote about the symptoms of Richmonditis, way back in 2015.

Carrying the rather bland name of “PG Bugatti Bike”, the bicycle is estimated to cost a staggering $51,000 and weighs a feather-light 5kg.  Dear God that’s more combined cost of of the last two cars MMT has purchased…..  Both the cost – and the weight – of the bike comes down to its frame, which Bugatti claims is made from 95 percent carbon fibre.  Producing the bike in partnership with German bike manufacturer Pimp Garage, Bugatti says that every component on the bicycle has been engineered to be as light and wind-resistant as possible.

From the “numerous types of leather” to the “handcrafted carbon components”, the bicycle’s spec sheet reads like the wet dream of every mid-level executive who squeezes himself into lycra and joins the peloton.  The ride has been described as “firm and rigid”, which no doubt helps when you’re hurtling down a main arterial road on a bike that could very well send you broke.  MMT thinks that ‘firm and rigid’ is code for ‘bollock bruising’.

A primary feature of the bike is that most customers will be able to customise their bike to have the same fit and finish as their Bugatti – because only someone capable of owning a $1.7 million supercar would consider buying a bicycle that’s worth more than many make in a year. “We had the vision of building the ultimate bicycle to go with the ultimate car,” says Pimp Garage’s CEO Manuel Ostner. “It’s the ultimate in design, in workmanship and in performance.” MMT dares to suggest wankerism…

Of course, if you’re interested in impressing your MAMIL mates (for those not in the loop, that’s the semi-discriminatory term of Middle-Aged-Men-In-Lycra) at the coffee shop, you’ll have to get in quick: Bugatti has limited production to just 667 bikes, no doubt most of which will be heading to the garages of tech billionaires and Saudi princes.  Ah ha… that would be wanker thing again.

Any how, you can see more pictures and and the un-annotated version of this article at:

Bugatti creates a $50,000 bicycle that weighs less than 5kg

Until next time, ride safe

Marv

 

When in London: Look Ma No Hands Cafe

 

Dear Roulers,

Here’s my first blog entry for 2016.  Back in October 2015, the Missus and I had a 4 week European Holiday that included a few days in London.  I spent more than a few hours visiting a list of bike shops and scooping up bargains were I could find them.  One of the best shops was a café that I used to frequent when I lived in London.  In fact, I can remember when it opened in 2010.  Tired of really crappy coffee offered by Starbucks, Costa and Café Nero, I was becoming quite desperate for a decent Australian style latte or flat white.

Fortunately, ‘Look Ma No Hands’ opened up and offered much better coffee crafted by staff that had a much better understanding of their expresso machine.  The shop had free wifi, a sunny aspect and a fledgling bicycle workshop.  Also, it showed old 70’s & 80’s TV coverage of the grand tours and monuments.  It was mainly frequented by students and bicycle couriers with the occasional suited trespasser like me.

20160107-LMNH-Map

So when I dragged my footsore wife from Old Street Tube Station to the there in late October 2015, it was with fond memories and quiet hope that it hadn’t changed much over.  I checked out the Café’s website and it seemed very promising.  Happily, reality for once matched the glamour and gloss of website.  The café was full of people viewing a crowd sourcing pitch for short film about how cycling was helping a young man  get the better of his clinical depression.

 20160107-LMNH-Cafe  20160107-LMNH-Wshop

The coffee was much better than I remembered it and we spent a lazy 45 minutes soaking up the vibe and trying on shop branded merchandise.  I purchased a short sleeve jersey and cap.  Both have been given a few test rides and have passed the ‘marv’ test with flying colours.  Its kind of cool to own a jersey that no one in Melbourne has or at least I haven’t seen on the back of another rouleur around my locale.

 20160107-LMNH-Jersey  20160107-LMNH-Cap

So to quote ‘Molly’ Meldrum and that irritating TV ad that’s on high rotation at the moment, when you are next in London ‘Do your self a favour’ and visit one of the great cycling cafes in the UK, Look Ma No Hands.

Until next time,

Marv