Category Archives: Urban Cycling

Death of an OBike…Apologies to Arthur Miller

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has devoted a number of blogs to sad fate of dockless hire bikes here in Melbourne.  MMT is still seeing greatly abused bikes either mangled or with various pieces missing.   Although there have been some pretty creative uses of OBikes most notably:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-10-24/obike-rainbow-sculpture-to-be-removed-from-melbourne-street/9080394

and, this homage to ET

The vast majority of locals aren’t too impressed by them.  In last Thursday’s age MMT reckons Peter Wells absolutely nailed the average Melburnian’s…hmm… ambivalence to the OBike Scheme.

MMT wonders how long these will continue to be allowed on the streets of Melbourne.  In some ways its a bit sad, that OBike can’t figure out how position these bikes in better locations and that Melburnians can’t show the bikes a little more respect.

Until next time, ride safe

Marv

A better use for triathelete time trial handlebars….

Dear Rouleurs,

I’ve fallen out of love with Mr Zuckerberg’s social behemoth, Facebook.  It’s big brother use of my activity data just leaves me cold and wondering when Skynet will arrive.  Nevertheless, the occasional post from cycling magazines turns up a gem and this is one of them.  Can’t help but wonder if Aussie didn’t ‘invent’ this.

Not that I’ve advocating drink-riding or any other similar foolishness.

Until next time, ride safe and sober,

Marv

 

Ode to TISM and Dior BMX

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has long been a fan of Melbourne’s ultimate underground band ‘This Is Serious Mum’ aka TISM.  MMT believes that members of self-entitled Gen-Y should be forced to listen to TISM as means to increase their self-awareness.

For example, the song What Are Ya? should be played on rotation to hipsters:

You’re a yob or you’re a wanker
Take your fucking choice
So who is your favourite genius
James Hird or James Joyce?

You ever seen a live performance?
Join the wanker club
You thought I meant table top dancing?
You’re a yobbo, bub

I digress.  MMT was driven to this latest burst of hostility after skim reading today’s AFR (yup I’m a wanker 😉 but he was trying to figure what to do about his superannuation) when he encountered this:

For the love of God…$4,300 for BMX/fashion statement.  Contrary, to what the AFR writer/wanker says, MMT can and will resist the urge to buy something like this.  Also its really not that stylish.  Clearly, if you are buying one of these things you have too much money.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE WANKER.

Think again and donate the same amount of cash to a worthwhile charity.

Ok that’s my moralising rant finished.  TISM please make a comeback and release a new album, the world needs you.

MMT

 

Bollards to that…apologies to Attilla the Stockbroker

Dear Rouleurs,

I just had to post this one.  Post – that luntatic ice addict driving his car down Bourke St Mall and all the terrible, terrible acts of religious fanatics in London, Melbourne has received its own fleet of hideous concrete bollards.  They are scattered all over the CBD. Whilst these things seem to be unfortunately necessary, they are unspeakably ugly.  The picture below is sufficient proof of that.

A row of concrete eyesores near Fed Square.

So much to MMT’s surprise, an interesting article, documenting a wonderful public spirited response to these eyesores, appeared in the Age a few days ago.  I assume for reasons of cost cutting, after all its Fairfax print, the online version appeared only in the Sydney Morning Herald…WTF.

I’m surprised that anyone in the emerald city of Sydney would give 2 proverbial Shi#ts about these things in Melbourne???’

Another row of concrete eyesores near Southern Cross Station. One of them is just a little prettier, thanks to David Gray, the infamous Bollard Bandit.

Nevertheless, MMT feels compelled offer a polite and heartfelt ‘chapeau’ to Melbourne’s very own Bollard Bandit, David Gray for improving the city scape of Melbourne just a little bit.

Chapeau Monsieur Gray 🙂

Until next time, ride safe, avoiding bollards,

Marv