Category Archives: Humour

A more practical use for triathlete aero bars

Dear Rouleurs,

Just may be the worst is over for Europe, Asia and Australia on the COVID-19 front. The curve has well and truly been flattened in Australia and just may be life may return to ‘closer to normal’. Cycling in Melbourne over the last 6 weeks has been good, social distancing and general lock down have meant alot less cars on the road. However, it has meant MMT has a few more triathletes wearing silly aero suits in poor weather.

MMT feels oscillating sympathy and contempt for triathletes. Any sport based on cycling is tautologically good. Adding running and swimming is a bit of unnecessary animal husbandary with surf life saving, in MMT’s humble opinion. The utter seriousiness that triathetes have doing cycle training on Beach Road is some what amusing and very pretentious.

MMT has been told to ‘F#@k off’ a few times while wheel sucking and seen a few ‘interesting’ interactions with other cyclists over the years. MMT is routinely annoyed by disruptions caused by triathlon events, whose road hogging is enforced by barriers and hostile volunteer marshals.

However, MMT has been saving a Facebook post that he saw a few years ago in cycling group. This post clearly shows a better use for aero bars so beloved by triathletes. Enjoy 🙂

Until next time, ride and stay safe,

MMT

Ode to Covid-19, the Italian Classics and hand hygiene

Dear Rouleurs,

It seems that professional cycling in Europe and quite possibly the Olympics in Japan are about to take a massive ‘haircut’. Unless you have have been living a cave in the Tarkine wilderness in Tasmania, you would know that a global pandemic is taking place. The so-called coronavirus Covid-19 is cutting a swath through China, Iran, South Korea and weirdly Italy.

Of these, its Italy that MMT is most disheartened by. The classics season was just about to start in Italy and country’s government has hit the ‘panic’ button. It has started implementing drastic measures to slow the spread of the virus. According to cyclingnews.com, it appears almost certain that men’s and women’s Strade Bianche (March 7), Tirreno-Adriatico (March 11-17), Milan-San Remo (March 8) and the Tour of Sicily (April 1-4), will all be cancelled.

This would be an unmitigated disaster for the races’ organiser, RCS Sport. MMT wonders whether RCS will survive these loss of high profile events this year. Closer to home, Australia’s Mitchelton-Scott team have announced that they were withdrawing from all races until the 22 March. A number of teams are already quarantined in Abu Dhabi UAE after four riders tested positive for the virus.

Here in Melbourne, there have been 6 reported cases and, fortunately to this time, no fatalities. As MMT has cycled and driven about Melbourne it does seem to be significantly quieter than usual. Overall, Australia has been relatively unscathed with 52 confirmed cases and 2 deaths. Quite frankly this is becoming quite grim, lets hope that this virus doesn’t get completely off the chain like Swine flu did in 2009/10.

So with that in mind MMT was delighted to see a little levity about this horrible situation by Will Dyson in today’s Age. Whilst its amusing it has a serious message, that all Melburians need to take to heart.

So until next time, ride safe and exercise good hand hygiene

Marv

Happy Valentine’s Day

Dear Rouleurs

MMT is in the good books with his wife, aka Directeur Sportif of Team MMT. MMT arranged for a dozen long stemmed roses to be delivered at her workplace, so that all her colleagues could admire them. Score several hundred brownie points.

However, MMT saw this picture on a cycling related Facebook group and wondered if one dozen was enough.

MMT has just finished his investigations of what new bike he was planning to bike. Perhaps another a few dozen roses would soften the message.

Until next time, ride safe and Happy Valentine’s Day

MMT

Oh we’re from Tigerland….Premiers 2019

Dear Rouleurs and Tigers fans,

Its been a huge 2 weeks since MMT’s last blog. The Tiges rolled the Cats in the Preliminary Final and then destroyed the GWS Giants in the Grand Final. To quote one of MMT’s favourite Vinnie Jone’s lines from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, ‘Its been emotional…’ Saturday’s Giant killing spree meant that the Grand Final was all but over by the 10 minute mark of the third quarter. What followed was an unbridged celebration of Tiger football, where the opposition was left to play the role of witches hats in Richmond training drill. MMT could go on, on, on, on….

MMT had a tough week leading into the Grand Final. For starters, he caught the late season Melbourne flu and was down for the count all of that week. Further, due to his incompetence, completely missed the Ticketek ballot widow for club members and didn’t have a Grand Final ticket. The a series of very fortunate events occurred. First, GWS Giants knocked Collingwood out of the finals race and in the process forced another 10,000 or so club tickets to be released. Second, the gods of Ticketek on Tuesday, 12.15pm, gifted MMT a decent ticket to the big dance. You bloody beauty……

Any how, here’s a photo of the victorious Richmond team, the 2019 AFL Premiers.

Gee…Trent that cup looks heavy 😉

Finally, speaking of Collingwood, MMT heard a cracking Pies joke the other day –

Question: Do you know what’s the difference between a pyromaniac and the Collingwood football club?

Answer: A pyromaniac doesn’t waste 22 matches. Boom, boom.

After the 2018 Preliminary Final aka Tiger Ambush , MMT thinks the Pies deserve a bit of trash talk.

Until next time, Go Tiges

MMT