Author Archives: Marv

About Marv

I'm an avid amateur cyclist who regularly commutes to work, rides for exercise and completes the occasional long distance event. I have 3 bikes. My first ever mountain bike a 1996 Giant Sedona, which I use for for commuting, a 7 year old Canondale F3 with headshock and a 3 year old Wilier Lavaredo.

Welcome Back to 2019

Dear Rouleurs,

Where does the time go?? It’s been quite a few weeks since MMT managed to knock out a post on this blog. Christmas chaos aside, MMT completed his second ever Festive 500. Woo hoo. In the 2018 version, MMT managed 520 km and ranked 11,525 out of a possible 55,645, which is not bad for 100Kg Clydesdale nearing the big 5-0 (…sigh…were does the time go…). Incidentally, that was 20km more than last year. If my venerable Garmin 510 hadn’t messed up on way point mapping it would have been 531km. Which might have bumped MMT, up the leader board, a few places. MMT digresses.

MMT has done some initial analysis on his 2017 and 2018 efforts.   MMT was surprised that there wasn’t actually that much difference.  2018 was slightly quicker in overall elapsed time but took one more ride.  MMT varied his ride strategy by doing laps around Albert Park Lake for active recovery. This has had the unexpected benefit of increasing his stamina. That particular course only has one traffic light, which meant chunks of 5km or 10 km being ridden without break at 25 -30 km/h. Its also quite mentally, therapeutic, particularly if you can lap behind someone doing roughly the same speed. Its possible to tune out and ‘feel’ the bike on the road. That’s entirely too much zen… 😉

So here’s some pretty stats. The first is a summary table comparing 2017 to 2018.

Festive 500 Comparison Table

The second set of stats is this graph which compares the daily accumulated kilometres ridden for both events.

This time round, the best day MMT had on the bike, was the 27/12. MMt managed 104km at an average speed was 28Km/h. MMT’s worst day was the 29/12, when it rained quite heavily after a number of warm days. With in 20 minutes of leaving home MMT had to fix 2 flat tires. Both were on the front. The second was a result of his own stupidity, failing to check the tire, which still had a very large piece of glass in it.

The photo below was taken outside the Seaman’s Mission in Docklands. Its a good thing, that this wasn’t a selfie, MMT wasn’t a happy camper at the time.

Since the Festive 500, MMT has made an effort to re-connect with RCC and the Laps with Chats ride on Friday morning and has ridden the 2019 Cadel Evans Peoples Ride. The next blog will probably be about that ride.

Until next time, ride safe


Cycling in the rain….

Dear Rouleurs,

the silly season is upon us again.  MMT finally managed to attend a bunch ride with the Bicycle Network this morning.  Unfortunately it was only 3 laps around Albert Park Lake.  As you may have noticed it rained very heavily in morning.  So much so that when MMT took off his shoes, two large puddles of water drained out.  As always a picture tells a story of a thousand words.

Hopefully won’t be like that tomorrow.  MMT is only 15km short of achieving 7500km for the year and achieving his annual target.

Until next time, ride safe.


Post-holiday angry rant part 3 – coffee cup thievery

Dear Rouleurs,

This blog will be the 3rd and final instalment of MMT’s angry rant series.  MMT can’t possibly maintain the rage for longer than a week, well not without really hurting someone 😉  So this angry rant is dedicated to the dickhead who nicked my Sttoke reusable coffee cup at work. For those of you that are unfamiliar with this astonishingly good and seemingly unbreakable cup, this is what they look like.


To the thief who heisted MMT’s cup – May you, your children and their children be cursed to drink appalling US-style coffee for the rest of their lives. 

MMT, replaced his black Sttoke with white one and wrote his fucking name and mobile phone number on it.  May be that will discourage further thievery.

Until next time, ride safe


Post-holiday angry rant part 2 – ute driving bogans

Dear Rouleurs,

This blog will be part 2 in a 3 part series in what MMT is now calling his Angry Rant series. MMT was going to write about the theft of hisbeloved black, Sttoke coffee cup. That will now be part 3. However a close encounter with another bogan dickhead in a ute, this morning, left MMT fuming and now a few hours later somewhat amused.

MMT was cruising past Elwood Beach at about 6:45am when some bogan dickhead rolled down the passenger side window of a white flat bed ute to scream “Get off the road!!”. MMT gave the bogan dickhead the middle finger and continued on his way. About 5 minutes later, the bogan dickhead passes me again with the same ridiculous outburst. This time MMT is prepared with an iphone  handy. The bogan dickhead ute has been stopped by traffic lights on St Kilda Road. MMT catches up and starts taking photos.

As you the reader can see, MMT snapped the licence plate, YBM 890, the make of the ute, Mitsubishi Triton and a good close up of this loser covering his face. If that’s not a sign of guilt, then MMT is not sure what else would be more damning. May be video evidence would do the trick.  My guess this bogan may have had a ‘oh shit’ moment, where suddenly something that must have been amusing to him, has suddenly become something with potentially nasty consequences.  MMT wonders if this P-plate driver doesn’t have some ‘form’ or ‘priors’.

Stiil, it Just goes to show the civilising power of a mobile phone with a camera, can level the playing field. If there had been less traffic around MMT would have stopped and taken further photos.   Not so chipper now Mr Bogan Dickhead, are you??  Oh well. So the question is what to do with this ‘smoking gun’ other than naming and shaming in this blog.

Either way I offer a heartfelt ‘Vaffanculo!!!’ with the appropriate hand gesture to this bogan dickhead.