Tag Archives: wankerism

A more practical use for triathlete aero bars

Dear Rouleurs,

Just may be the worst is over for Europe, Asia and Australia on the COVID-19 front. The curve has well and truly been flattened in Australia and just may be life may return to ‘closer to normal’. Cycling in Melbourne over the last 6 weeks has been good, social distancing and general lock down have meant alot less cars on the road. However, it has meant MMT has a few more triathletes wearing silly aero suits in poor weather.

MMT feels oscillating sympathy and contempt for triathletes. Any sport based on cycling is tautologically good. Adding running and swimming is a bit of unnecessary animal husbandary with surf life saving, in MMT’s humble opinion. The utter seriousiness that triathetes have doing cycle training on Beach Road is some what amusing and very pretentious.

MMT has been told to ‘F#@k off’ a few times while wheel sucking and seen a few ‘interesting’ interactions with other cyclists over the years. MMT is routinely annoyed by disruptions caused by triathlon events, whose road hogging is enforced by barriers and hostile volunteer marshals.

However, MMT has been saving a Facebook post that he saw a few years ago in cycling group. This post clearly shows a better use for aero bars so beloved by triathletes. Enjoy 🙂

Until next time, ride and stay safe,

MMT

Ode to TISM and Dior BMX

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has long been a fan of Melbourne’s ultimate underground band ‘This Is Serious Mum’ aka TISM.  MMT believes that members of self-entitled Gen-Y should be forced to listen to TISM as means to increase their self-awareness.

For example, the song What Are Ya? should be played on rotation to hipsters:

You’re a yob or you’re a wanker
Take your fucking choice
So who is your favourite genius
James Hird or James Joyce?

You ever seen a live performance?
Join the wanker club
You thought I meant table top dancing?
You’re a yobbo, bub

I digress.  MMT was driven to this latest burst of hostility after skim reading today’s AFR (yup I’m a wanker 😉 but he was trying to figure what to do about his superannuation) when he encountered this:

For the love of God…$4,300 for BMX/fashion statement.  Contrary, to what the AFR writer/wanker says, MMT can and will resist the urge to buy something like this.  Also its really not that stylish.  Clearly, if you are buying one of these things you have too much money.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE WANKER.

Think again and donate the same amount of cash to a worthwhile charity.

Ok that’s my moralising rant finished.  TISM please make a comeback and release a new album, the world needs you.

MMT