Category Archives: Humour

Ode to Covid-19, the Italian Classics and hand hygiene

Dear Rouleurs,

It seems that professional cycling in Europe and quite possibly the Olympics in Japan are about to take a massive ‘haircut’. Unless you have have been living a cave in the Tarkine wilderness in Tasmania, you would know that a global pandemic is taking place. The so-called coronavirus Covid-19 is cutting a swath through China, Iran, South Korea and weirdly Italy.

Of these, its Italy that MMT is most disheartened by. The classics season was just about to start in Italy and country’s government has hit the ‘panic’ button. It has started implementing drastic measures to slow the spread of the virus. According to cyclingnews.com, it appears almost certain that men’s and women’s Strade Bianche (March 7), Tirreno-Adriatico (March 11-17), Milan-San Remo (March 8) and the Tour of Sicily (April 1-4), will all be cancelled.

This would be an unmitigated disaster for the races’ organiser, RCS Sport. MMT wonders whether RCS will survive these loss of high profile events this year. Closer to home, Australia’s Mitchelton-Scott team have announced that they were withdrawing from all races until the 22 March. A number of teams are already quarantined in Abu Dhabi UAE after four riders tested positive for the virus.

Here in Melbourne, there have been 6 reported cases and, fortunately to this time, no fatalities. As MMT has cycled and driven about Melbourne it does seem to be significantly quieter than usual. Overall, Australia has been relatively unscathed with 52 confirmed cases and 2 deaths. Quite frankly this is becoming quite grim, lets hope that this virus doesn’t get completely off the chain like Swine flu did in 2009/10.

So with that in mind MMT was delighted to see a little levity about this horrible situation by Will Dyson in today’s Age. Whilst its amusing it has a serious message, that all Melburians need to take to heart.

So until next time, ride safe and exercise good hand hygiene

Marv

Happy Valentine’s Day

Dear Rouleurs

MMT is in the good books with his wife, aka Directeur Sportif of Team MMT. MMT arranged for a dozen long stemmed roses to be delivered at her workplace, so that all her colleagues could admire them. Score several hundred brownie points.

However, MMT saw this picture on a cycling related Facebook group and wondered if one dozen was enough.

MMT has just finished his investigations of what new bike he was planning to bike. Perhaps another a few dozen roses would soften the message.

Until next time, ride safe and Happy Valentine’s Day

MMT

Oh we’re from Tigerland….Premiers 2019

Dear Rouleurs and Tigers fans,

Its been a huge 2 weeks since MMT’s last blog. The Tiges rolled the Cats in the Preliminary Final and then destroyed the GWS Giants in the Grand Final. To quote one of MMT’s favourite Vinnie Jone’s lines from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, ‘Its been emotional…’ Saturday’s Giant killing spree meant that the Grand Final was all but over by the 10 minute mark of the third quarter. What followed was an unbridged celebration of Tiger football, where the opposition was left to play the role of witches hats in Richmond training drill. MMT could go on, on, on, on….

MMT had a tough week leading into the Grand Final. For starters, he caught the late season Melbourne flu and was down for the count all of that week. Further, due to his incompetence, completely missed the Ticketek ballot widow for club members and didn’t have a Grand Final ticket. The a series of very fortunate events occurred. First, GWS Giants knocked Collingwood out of the finals race and in the process forced another 10,000 or so club tickets to be released. Second, the gods of Ticketek on Tuesday, 12.15pm, gifted MMT a decent ticket to the big dance. You bloody beauty……

Any how, here’s a photo of the victorious Richmond team, the 2019 AFL Premiers.

Gee…Trent that cup looks heavy 😉

Finally, speaking of Collingwood, MMT heard a cracking Pies joke the other day –

Question: Do you know what’s the difference between a pyromaniac and the Collingwood football club?

Answer: A pyromaniac doesn’t waste 22 matches. Boom, boom.

After the 2018 Preliminary Final aka Tiger Ambush , MMT thinks the Pies deserve a bit of trash talk.

Until next time, Go Tiges

MMT

MMT’s 2018 Annual Report

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has finally got around to reviewing his effort in 2018 and generally seeking to tidy up his blog.

Overall, 2018 was interesting year in the life of MMT.  MMT continued to be amazed by the development of his first daughter, the Ginger Ninja. 
Towards the end of 2018, Team MMT commenced a very exciting project.  The Team Manager, Mrs MMT, became pregnant with team’s second daughter.  At the time of writing, May 2019, that project is at the 33 week mark and progressing well. 

MMT’s efforts through out the year where fairly even, except for the last 3 months, where a 4 week holiday in Spain and the UK, clipped the end of October and start of November.  MMT finished December in style with a 1200km effort, mostly on the back of a Festive 500 effort.  MMT managed to attend 2 people’s rides, the Cadel Evans in January and the MS Cycle April. MMT didn’t really ride much with RCC. The Southside ride seemed to become a 40Km/h smashfest suitable for younger or lighter riders.

MMT’s beloved AFL football team, Richmond Tigers won the minor premiership, but ran out of gas against an impressive Collingwood in the Preliminary Final.  Going home at half time is a very bitter memory.  The alternative of sitting next to the Collingwood Cheer Squad at the city end was not an option.  Damn you Mason Cox!!!

So onto cycling, here’s bunch of pretty charts to present.  The first one shows MMTs yearly worm.   The dip at October and November reflects Team MMT’s northern hemisphere holiday.  The sharp kick at the end is the Festive 500.  The overall total of 8,269 kilometres was the first time MMT has managed more than 8,000 kilometres in a calendar

The second, has the same data set, except its month by month.  This graph shows how MMT’s efforts seesawed between months of 800+ km and 600+km for the first 9 months of the years. 

The final graph shows my ride activity month on month.  MMT averaged nearly 30 rides a month, through a mix of commuting, early morning circuits and longer weekend rides.

So in summary the numbers for 2018 look like this:

So in an average month MMT, does 29 rides, for 689km, which takes about 29 hours and burns 16,428 calories.  His overall average speed was 23.15 km/h.  MMT wonders what he could achieve if he were 10kg lighter.

Until next blog, ride safe

Marv