Category Archives: Humour

A better use for triathelete time trial handlebars….

Dear Rouleurs,

I’ve fallen out of love with Mr Zuckerberg’s social behemoth, Facebook.  It’s big brother use of my activity data just leaves me cold and wondering when Skynet will arrive.  Nevertheless, the occasional post from cycling magazines turns up a gem and this is one of them.  Can’t help but wonder if Aussie didn’t ‘invent’ this.

Not that I’ve advocating drink-riding or any other similar foolishness.

Until next time, ride safe and sober,

Marv

 

Ode to TISM and Dior BMX

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has long been a fan of Melbourne’s ultimate underground band ‘This Is Serious Mum’ aka TISM.  MMT believes that members of self-entitled Gen-Y should be forced to listen to TISM as means to increase their self-awareness.

For example, the song What Are Ya? should be played on rotation to hipsters:

You’re a yob or you’re a wanker
Take your fucking choice
So who is your favourite genius
James Hird or James Joyce?

You ever seen a live performance?
Join the wanker club
You thought I meant table top dancing?
You’re a yobbo, bub

I digress.  MMT was driven to this latest burst of hostility after skim reading today’s AFR (yup I’m a wanker 😉 but he was trying to figure what to do about his superannuation) when he encountered this:

For the love of God…$4,300 for BMX/fashion statement.  Contrary, to what the AFR writer/wanker says, MMT can and will resist the urge to buy something like this.  Also its really not that stylish.  Clearly, if you are buying one of these things you have too much money.

YOU ARE A COMPLETE WANKER.

Think again and donate the same amount of cash to a worthwhile charity.

Ok that’s my moralising rant finished.  TISM please make a comeback and release a new album, the world needs you.

MMT

 

YAFFed again and Richmonditis

Dear Rouleurs,

OMG I’ve been YAFFed again. YAFF being short for Yet Another F*$%king Flu.  I’ve recycled my daughter’s cold for the third time this year. Twice yaffed in this month of September, MMT has spent 8 days off work trying to ward off this rotten, rotten cold. I’m mean its not even the proper ‘flu’ that’s reached epidemic levels in southern Australia.

So that means MMT’s numbers for September will be well and truly sub-par…boooooo!!!

On a different tact, MMT’s Richmonditis has reached full blown status with every TV, newspaper and piece of social media commentary inducing nervous heart palpitations and,  in some cases, a vertigo like feeling. MMT can not wait until tomorrow afternoon and the start of preliminary final against the Greater Western Sydney Giants. Speaking of which here’s the team lists.

 

Hopefully, the weather will be excellent tomorrow, the forecast is for a summer-like 27 degrees. That should be good for both cycling and football.

Fingers crossed, Go Tiges!!!

Marv

Oh we’re from Tigerland…

Dear Rouleurs,

As a long suffering Richmond FC supporter, let tell you how good Friday night’s win was.  I’ve written about what it is like as a fan to suffer Richmonditis several times in this blog.  I wasn’t too hopeful about Friday night. The stats tell the truth of a one-sided contest between Richmond and Geelong going back to 2007 with a 13 game losing streak.  Richmond hadn’t one a finals game since 2001.  Daimen Hardwick holds the longest streak of AFL games coached (178) with out a finals win.

So how good was it…it was unbelievable 😉  The noise of 95,000 people at the G was like a grand final and I reckon Richmond fans outnumbered Geelong fans by 2 to 1.

So here’s a happy snap pilfered from The ABC.

MMT has 2 weeks to savour the afterglow of this incredible win.  Next post I’ll be back on the topic of cycling.

Until then….oh we’re from Tigerland…boom…boom…

Marv