Category Archives: Humour

The Stage 4 Lockdown Blues

Dear Rouleurs,

It’s the second week of August and MMT is, to quote Shaun Micallef, ‘mad as hell’. Apparently, the Victorian version of overseas passenger quarantine was run by a bunch of muppets who didn’t brief or prepare their staff. Now all of Melbourne is in stage 4 lockdown and all of country Victoria is in stage 3 lockdown. Bummer…. The pic below shows The Age headline for the 3rd of August. In the end, the State Government didn’t have choice. The mounting mystery case list and sadly, deathtoll simply couldn’t be ignored.

The impact of that has meant has a drastic reduction in MMT’s time on the bike outdoors. People living in Melbourne are only allowed one hour of exercise a day and aren’t allowed to travel outside of a 5 kilometre radius of their home. The combination of those 2 restrictions has meant a lot of short, and some what frustrating rides inside the Red Circle of Boredom….

And there it is in all of its glory. The Red Circle of Boredom has meant a number of rides around Albert Park Lake and Fisherman’s Bend. If MMT had more than 1hour, he could have ridden to Williamstown and back. Being so close to the Bay has meant a large reduction in ride variety. Fortunately, MMT still has St Ali’s and Brother Bubba Budan in that zone so at least he has access to decent coffee when needed.

Now before MMT forgets the Red Circle of Boredom, is based on a rather heplful website, https://2kmfromhome.com/. The author is a fellow called David Bolger in the Republic of Ireland. You can find him here on Twitter: https://twitter.com/davebolger. It looks like his website received some serious interest from Melbourians judging by this tweet.

If MMT hadn’t seen this website on Strava, he may resorted to using a Melways (…remember those?? ;-), a pin, a piece of string and a pencil, to achieve the same end. Very old school geometry vs a new snappy website…the website wins. If you feel so inclined you can buy Dave a coffee here at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/devhaus. BTW, Coffee in Ireland must be seriously expensive at 5 Euro ie $8.23 AUD…ouch.

Any how, ride safe and stay safe

MMT in Stage 4 Lockdown

Melbourne is stage three lock down and someone at Garmin is having a very bad day…

Dear Rouleurs,

Of course it was too good to last. Back in May, Australia looked like it had dodged a COVID-19 bullet. Now that bloody virus gotten loose loose in Northern Melbourne and trigger this new stage 3, 6 week lockdown. Almost all the COVID-19 cases in Australian are in Victoria at present. About the only silver lining in this awful mess, is that road traffic around Melbourne has reduced significantly, which is great for cyclists. Who knows may be Melbournians will adopt the bike as their preferred mode of transport.


MMT took a snap shot of a great Mark Knight cartoon, that is in all honesty is bit rough on Victorian Preimer Dan Andrews. However it does capture the mood of frustration about how Victoria’s quaratine system was clearly being run by muppets. It appears that the Rydges on Swanston in Carlton and the Stamford Plaza in Melbourne’s city centre have been the epicentre for this new surge….WTF…. As the number of new cases keeps bounding along in the high 400’s, it will be interesting to see how the security company running fares in the recently announced inquiry.

Now speaking of stuff ups, something very odd is going on the Garmin Connect website. MMT has been trying to upload today’s ride around the Capital City trail when he encountered this error. Its been down for nearly 8 hours, which is seriously weird, given that its probably sitting on a Google or AWS cloud. MMT will be really f%#ked off if his 56 km ride disappears in into thin air. He finally navigated, clockwise the Capital City Trail, on the third attempt.

MMT checked a few social media groups and tried the website again tonight and its apparent something has gone wrong. Even an a UK newspaper, The Independant, has reported the outage. Someone at Garmin must be having a very bad day. In word…bugger..may be the website has caught COVID-19 or been done over by Chinese hackers…conspiracy theories run wild.

Until next time, ride safe and keep safe

Marv

Fiddling about with WordPress….and some cyclist humour

Dear Rouleurs,

This blog has another attempt at cycling humour, again care of FLAB ie Fat Lad At the Back. I feel a deep empathy for the kind soul that crafted this faux magazine cover. 🙂 Clearly, they are having a gentle dig at this etailer in the USA – Competitive Cyclist and at the hyper-competitive breed of cyclist that focuses on grams and kilojoules.

Fake new from a 'faux' magazine, the Non-competive Cyclist

The emphasis on cake, pork pies and putting the push back into push bikes, certainly gave MMT a bit of a chuckle. Its also a bit of test of the behind the scenes tinkering I’ve been doing with WordPress.

Let’s see if it worked…..Bugger, just checked – it didn’t – Boooooooo!!!

Until next time, stay safe, ride safe

MMT

Time for some cyclist humour about tan lines….

Dear Rouleurs,

MMT has been taking potshots at Millennials for a few years in this blog. After all it’s great sport to see generation ‘selfie’ suddenly realise the world, nay, universe doesn’t actually revolve around their sense of entitlement. MMT has particularly enjoyed poking fun Millennial’s preferred form of communication the infographic.  It’s a well take on the aphorism that a picture says a thousand words. 

Occasionally, MMT happens upon one that is genuinely amusing or informative.  Today’s infographic falls into the former category.  The visual is self-explanatory and here in Australia should have been accompanied by a ‘slip, slop, slap’ message of some kind.  There’s nothing funny about having serious skin cancer.

MMT reckons he saw this pop up in on the FLAB Facebook page. Although it looks like The Joy Divison liberated it first. The visual has stuck in MMT’s head, as his directeur sportiff, Mrs MMT, had commented how deeply tanned MTT’s legs were, hence the thoughtful and artistic addition to the graphic 😉 MMT is also big fan of zinc across the cheeks and nose. As Banksy once wrote “The bad artists imitiate, The great artists steal – Picasso Banksy Marv ;-)”

Until next time, stay safe, ride safe

Marv