Marv’s Law of Bicycle Punctures

Carrying on from previous posts about irritating punctures, I’ve compiled a list of clauses which I’m now proposing as my law describing the likelihood of getting a puncture.  Some people may think I’m getting a head of myself here but, sad to say I’m basing this on empirical observations of my own stupidity.

Clause (i) If you are going to get a puncture, it will be at most inconvenient time, when you are late for work, a dinner date or an important and you will not have brought a spare tube or puncture kit.

Clause (ii) It is inevitable that you will have more punctures on your back wheel, as this carries your weight.  Consequently, if you are like me, heavier you will have more punctures.

Clause (iii) It more likely that you will have rear puncture when you haven’t cleaned your rear running gear and/or are wearing new clothing.  Grease will find its way into places and clothing that can’t be easily cleaned.

Clause (iv) It is more likely that you will get a puncture when it rains as more debris is washed onto the roads and wet tyres are more susceptible to damage.

Clause (v) It is more likely that you will get a puncture and then have the weather turn bad with heavy showers making your machine’s parts that much harder to handle.

Clause (vi) It is more likely that you will get a puncture when you are riding alone when there is no one to help you.

Clause (vii) It is more likely that you will get a puncture, if you are stupid enough to boast about never getting one.  This is hubris which greatly angers your fellow cyclists and Velos the Greek god of bicycling. You will be smited by his wrath 🙂

 

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